"Oh the places you'll go"

I'm departing from my standard layout to bring you a special travel edition (gosh Findley you're soo obliging).

Inspired by Dr. Suess

Written by Findley Merritt

In a Danish coffee shop

Not a "coffee shop"

Which you will read about later

Read by adoring fans

61% of whom use Safari internet explorer

Or so my blog statistics tell me

Ok I'll get on with it

Without further introduction...

"You're off to great places! You're off and away!"

Den Hague:

btw, the Hague is in the Netherlands. It's ok...I didn't know either.

DIS should really look into hiring a competent bus driver. One that can correctly use a GPS. Maybe then, we’d get to our appointments on time and not miss something important like, say…the Danish Embassy? Just a thought.

Our story in the Hague begins with a 10 hours bus ride. That's all I have to say about that.

Except that I'm now obsessed with Quentin Tarantino films. Like Inglorious Bastards. Ok no further comments.

"Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as footsy and brainsy as you"

The Peace Palace in the Hague houses the International Court of Justice (the EU's principle court of justice), the Permanent Court of Arbitration, and the Hague Academy of International Law. But here's what I learned:

1. While the rest of Europe donated golden trimmed marble statues of winged angels, Denmark donated a blue fountain with polar bears and sea otters. Good to know you got the memo DK.

"You'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know"

It takes a special person to end at a convent with directions to a monastery. Thank you bus driver for rivaling Christopher Columbus' navigation skills.

Back in ye 'ole days, the monks were given authority by the city to brew and guard beer over 10% because they were (naturally) deemed the most moral. It's a tradition that's still in existence to this day.

Point is: There are few who can say that on a Sunday night monks contributed to their intoxication at a beer tasting in a monastery. Checked that one off the bucket list.

"There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won."

Our last (only) night in The Hague, Melissa and I discovered a Dutch bar that played only country music. We took full advantage of this first by requesting everything from Zac Brown Band to the Allman Brothers Band with a little Tom Petty to spice things up. It’s good to know Dutch people have an appreciation for the finer things in life.

Waffle-a-gogo-land:

(Belgium)

“Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.”

Buksti always remarks that the American system of Federalism is based on social distrust and conflict, while the Danish Parliamentary system is based on consensus, dialogue, and compromise. And for the most part, discussions ensue, legislation gets passed, and European politicians are noble.

Right.

Dream on Buksti. In the second Harry Potter, there’s a character named Gilderoy Lockhart who embodies the epitome of political sleeze. I kept finding similarites between him and the Danish Representative to the European Parliament during his lecture. There’s only so many anecdotes regarding your personal legislative success banning harmful chemicals in children’s toys that you can relate to European integration. Too many, and you breach the line between what's politically acceptable and what will undercut your popularity. Well done Lockhart.

“You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go.”

I think I've seriously underestimated my "fly paper" allure. There's a scene in Animal House where Belushi throws the toga party in the crowded basement of their fraternity house. Well that happened to us...fly paper for freaks style.

The one club we decide to go to our last night in Belgium became one large European fraternity party. In the midst of whizzing lights, bubbly drinks, and booming music, we suddenly found ourselves SURROUNDED by people hooded in cloaks (think Harry Potter) with patchwork hats on all raving like loons. I think it's the one time I've ever been hit on by a French man in a cape wearing a "save the whales" pin.

Fly paper I tell you, FLY PAPER!

Amsterdam:

“With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky."

(Excuse me, I just couldn't resist the cannabis reference)

Here is the nub and gist of our Amsterdam experience:

After lugging our suitcases up and down the same street for about 10 minutes, we realized that paint chipped decaying door was the door to our hostel. When we opened the door to the pin-narrow yet mountainous staircase a mural of marijuana decor greeted us. We shared the room with two 28-year-old Canadian men who we never once saw or met except for when they stumbled in at 4 a.m. There was no shower and only one bathroom, so naturally we arrived/went out/and slept in the same clothes since Friday. On our night out, Jocelyn and I split a bottle of wine and talked about boys from 6 to 10 pm (we discovered that I may or may not be the world's most affectionate life form). Tipsy from the wine, we thought it'd be a grand idea to sit in a "coffee shop" (bars where cannabis is bought and smoked). We walked in, awkwardly stood in the center of a smoke-filled room for 5 minutes, got a strange look from the bar tender, swiftly turned on our heels and bounced out. Fail. The dutch men we met later that night basically told us that everything on our tourist list was s***. They provided us with a new list written partly in Dutch on a beer stained coaster. Classy. The "free breakfast" that the hostel advertised was a piece of toast and peanut butter.

I am obsessed with Amsterdam.

"Your mountain is waiting. So…get on your way!"

I've exacerbated all my creativity and can't think of a witty conclusion.

Love you all.

Vi ses!

F